Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I am going to miss all of you, but hello... 18 months is not that long. My mom will continue to update my blog from time to time, so read on friends.... and don't forget about me. Love you all, keep it real.
It's me. It's monday night at ten thirty-ish. Um if I don't talk to you before you go, I will send you a letter bomb and anthrax in the mail so you die. Hahahahahahah. I was going to say I would come to the MTC and kill you, but um I really hope you don't die and they check this and they're like, "oh, jonny killed andrea" cause i'm not really a psycho. Well, clearly after last friday I am a psycho, because I broke into my ex's house and stole my stuff. But anyway, um I think I deserve one last phone call, and you better @*^& well do it, or else you're getting NO LETTERS FROM ME- there's my threat. No letters from me your entire mission. Not even an email or a single word if you don't call me back before you go, no letters from me, that's my threat, there we go. Anyway, we'll talk to you later. I mean I better talk to you later or else you're dead. Love you, Bye.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Here were the highlights of my life as a 14 year old:
1. Andrea got her braces off. I've already told stories about this miserable experience. Good to put an end to that period of my life.
2. Andrea got her ears double pierced. These were the days when having five piercings up your ear was super sexy. I had been begging my parents to let me get more piercings, because one set was so not cool anymore. They finally agreed that I could get second holes in both ears. However, before doing so, they made me sign a contract promising I wouldn't get more piercings in my ears, get my belly button pierced, or get a tattoo. I guess they were that worried I would do something foolish.....what good parents I have. Sidenote: I let the second holes grow in a year or two later. gross.
3. Andrea went on Pioneer trek this past summer. This is where I encountered the most awkward and humiliating experience of my life to date. An older boy totally walked in on me while I was in a porta potty, completely naked from the waist down. I screamed and shrieked in complete horror, until he finally ran away. All throughout the rest of pioneer trek he gave me the nasty eye. If that wasn't bad enough, it got much worse when his whole football team had heard the story a week later. Who brags about something like that? Sick. I still think about that one.
4. Andrea started 9th grade, and she is busy as a Student Body Officer, and singing in Madrigals. The most amazing part about this, is that I truly thought my life was chaotic. Little did I realize that walking around the halls of CJH talking about boys, coloring posters for basketball games, and stealing candy from our advisor in officer prep period hardly qualified as busy.
5. Andrea hates her math teacher, Mr. Smith Still do. (I don't dare post his real name on the internet. I think secretly I'm still afraid of him.) He was a real nut job. My friends and I always talked about egging his house, but none of us ever had the guts to follow through.
6. Andrea is President of her Mia Maid Class. Enough said.
7. Andrea went to St. George with her best friend Jessica over fall break. .. We thought we were so cool because we met and hung out with older, hot boys. Hello they were in High School! This was kind of a big deal.
8. Andrea really loves music. Some things never change. I was especially into the Dixie Chicks at this time, because included in the time capsule was a concert ticket from their fly tour.
So there you have it, Andrea 8 years ago. It makes me wonder where I'll be 8 years from now.... I honestly can't even venture a guess.
Monday, December 3, 2007
So far, here it is:
- eat sushi at happy sumo
- go rollerblading
- sleep in till noon
- watch A Christmas Story
- have a dance party
- dress up: wear high heels and bright red lipstick
- kiss. a lot. (just one boy though..)
Please let me know if you have any other activites you suggest I add to my list. What would you do if you were going to exit life in nine days? Many thanks.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Best part of my day: Realizing that the man was gay. Now I was truly flattered.
Monday, November 26, 2007
I have a love/hate relationship with my little pink retainer. I know that it serves me well in keeping my teeth nice and straight, but it also takes me back to those miserable afternoons spent lying on a moldy green plastic covered chair, holding back the tears and silently cursing my orthodontist for digging at my mouth and making my gums bleed, with FM 100 soft hits blaring in the background.
My orthodontist was a nut. He seemed like a normal guy at first, but after he impressed my parents at the beginning consultation, and they turned me over to his care, his true character was unleashed. He was literally crazy. First of all, the man never wore gloves when he worked on his patients. Never. If that wasn't bad enough, he had the hairiest fingers I've ever seen. I hate to get too graphic, but he would shove his bare (most likely un-sanitized) fingers in my mouth, and every time I choked on the inch-long hair. It was a horrific experience, to say the least. One that I wouldn't wish on anybody.
Not only did Dr. B lack all sense of personal hygiene, he also took absolute pleasure in hurting me, and all of his other adolescent victims for that matter. He always got this wild look in his eyes, and this devilish grin on his face when I cried out in pain. When my orthodontist appointment rolled around every month, I always hoped and prayed that my mother would forget, or I'd make up great excuses to get out of going. Sometimes, they actually worked.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
1. Harold's Red Trench coats
2. "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho
3. Bath & Body Works CO Bigelow Mentha Lip gloss
4. Nordstrom's Scrapbook Sweatshirts
5. "Favorites" cookbook
6. Pentax Optio T20 Touch Screen Camera
7. Burberry London Perfume
8. Pure Mirabella Mineral Makeup
9. Moleskin journals from Strands Books
10.Target's Polka Dot Rain Boots
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Here are the reasons why I am morally opposed to such a contest:
1. Don't you think it's a little bit outrageous to pick one person out of 700 people and proclaim them as the 'best' at anything? Entirely impossible.
2. Suicide rates among young people are on the rise. Thank you Viewmont High School for contributing to the epidemic of teenagers that hate themselves in America.
3. My sister wears MY accessories EVERY SINGLE DAY. If they were going to give anyone an award, it should have been me.
Disclaimer: My sister wants it known that she did not campaign for this award. On the contrary, she was completely horrified.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Case in point: Here is what I ate yesterday..
Breakfast: piece of toast and an egg
Lunch: roll and a piece of chocolate cake
Dinner: popcorn and hot chocolate
No wonder I feel like crap. I can't remember the last time I ate a piece of fruit that wasn't covered in chocolate. My body hates me right now. I think I'll find a detox diet to try.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Sounds like a sappy chick flick doesn't it? Something you'd watch after a break-up to convince yourself that there really is someone perfect for you out there. I think it's a great, successful love story. I mean, who isn't at least secretly looking to be swept up?
With that said, I have to admit that I think some things are better left undone. Some things just aren't supposed to be. Sometimes the best stories are the simple and uncomplicated occurances in life. Two examples come to mind..
1. One evening last summer, I stepped onto the train in NYC at 124th street, and noticed an attractive, frenchman across the aisle. We played the eye game for a couple of stops, until he stood up, walked over, and sat by me. For twenty minutes we conversed on the crowded train. He had very broken english, and I speak zero french. Communication was confusing at best. The only thing we both understood was that there was a mutual attraction. When we got to 42nd street, we simply went our separate ways. He was on his way to a wedding, and I was going to meet a guy for dinner that was much less intriguing than this french mystery. That was it. Two strangers forging a short-lived connection. I wouldn't have wanted it to end any other way.
2. Last March, I was dragged to a Sunday night dessert party in Provo by a friend. I didn't feel like being social since I was exhausted from a sleepless weekend. I stood there wrapped in my own thoughts, when suddenly a guy I'd never seen before was standing in front of me. He blurted, "I saw you from across the room.... and I want to kiss you." Only a tool would say something like that so I gave him a smirk and said, "Ha. You wouldn't dare." Before I knew it, he grabbed me, and was kissing me on the mouth, tasting my cinnamon lip gloss. Who does that? I pulled away, utterly surprised. I wanted to slap him for having the audacity to think that he could just kiss me, but another part of me thought that his confidence was almost commendable. If more people were that confident, there would be more relationships, and more happy people in this world. So I simply said, "Wow... you don't even know my name." Then I walked away.
*Disclaimer: The real end to this story is that somehow the sweet bro found out where I lived, and for the next week I had to hide everytime the doorbell rang. I refused to speak to him again, because I was kissed by a stranger, and I wanted to keep it that way. It makes for a much better story, don't you think?
Like I said before... some things are just better left undone.
Friday, November 9, 2007
I walked into the house this afternoon and the most potent smell I've ever encountered literally knocked me over. I immediately felt naucious, and seconds later I was dry-heaving. The smell was a combination of teeth being drilled at a dentist's office, and really bad, cheap men's cologne. It was absolutely horrifying. At first I truly wondered if it was a dead animal. After pacing the house for a few minutes, I found the nasty culprit... a fragrance wall plug-in. It's name, you ask? Sensual Amber. Okay, who really wants their house to smell sexy? (Besides my mother, apparently). I am here to tell you that Sensual Amber is anything but a turn-on. Bath & Body Works seroiusly disappointed me this time. I quickly made it my charge to destroy every box of Sensual Amber bulbs I could find in the house.
Let this be a word of caution to you all. When purchasing fragrance bulbs, it is in your best interest to be extremely selective.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Before I could say anything, he turned around and walked away.
I am just going to assume that what he meant to say was, "Andrea, thank you for keeping this stagnant office alive." Yeah... that has to be it.
Friday, November 2, 2007
My 12 year old brother tries to construct sentences using all of these words just to annoy me. Once I went out with this boy and he said the word 'probe' six times in one night. It bothered me so much I couldn't bring myself to go out with him again.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
This morning I rode the elevator with two men, I'm guessing in their late fifties. Immediately I noticed that one of the men was sporting slacks with a completely exposed, and unzipped zipper. I was torn. Part of me felt that it was my social responsibility to help this poor man before he made a complete fool of himself throughout the day. On the other hand, I didn't feel it necessarily appropriate to point out that he was flying free for these reasons..
A) He was a complete stranger.
B) Another man was riding in the elevator with us and there was no possible way of quietly divulging the problem.
C) I didn't want him to assume that I was some young hussy, checking out his 'area' in an enclosed elevator.
Before I knew it, the doors opened and we were on floor 6.. my stop. As I slipped off the elevator my heart sank. I felt like a horrible person for failing to speak up, and allowing this man to subject himself to humiliation and embarassment in the workplace.
Seriously though, could I have done anything differently?? Four hours later, I just hope that he's not still walking around with his zipper down.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
In most aspects of life I am a pretty easy going person. However, when it comes to laundry, I am completely neurotic. I trace this back to my first real experience of doing my own laundry. I was getting ready to move away to college. I am embarassed to admit it, but I had never washed my own clothes. My mother told me it was time that I learned to do my own laundry, and so I gave it a go. This wasn't so bad, I thought. What was the big deal anyway? I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and to my complete and utter horror, everything had shrunk. Cabbage patch doll size. As a young (yes, somewhat materialistic) eighteen year old, I was inconsolable. I honestly cried. For a couple of hours. From that day forward, I was never the same.
I am very particular about my laundry. I wash everything in cold/cold water on a light cycle. Instead of using dryers, I hang everything to dry on a drying rack. I am also extremely picky about what goes into each load. As a result, I usually wash about 7 loads each time I do laundry. Yes, I acknowledge the fact that this is slightly high maintenance, but I have never had an article of clothing destroyed since that first disastrous experience. That is, until last week.
Now to my beloved vest. It was a great vest. I found it on a trip out to Washington D.C. last October. My friend Tricia and I were walking through the shops near Georgetown one night and immediately it caught my eye. I had to have it. It was the only one of its kind. Since the day I bought it, it's been a wardrobe favorite. That vest and I were made for each other. Seriously.
The other day I was in the middle of doing laundry. A new, burgandy shirt (which was still bleeding shades of red) was lying on the drying rack. My khaki vest was in the middle of a wash cycle (alone, because I didn't want to chance washing it with anything else). I left the room for a while, and when I came back my vest wasn't in the washing machine. I found it lying on the drying rack. On top of the bleeding burgandy shirt. I bolted across the room to try to remedy the situation, but it was too late. The damage was already done. My khaki vest was covered in burgandy spots.
I was devastated. I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell at whoever was responsible. But I didn't. Maybe this is a sign of newfound maturity. I tried every trick I knew to remove the blood-like stains, and when nothing worked.... I simply had to give up and quietly mourn my loss. One week later, I am slowly recovering. I am still heartbroken about the unexpected death of my khaki vest. I am quite certain that I will never be able to find an adequate replacement.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I went on a little getaway this past week with the parentals. We went to Santa Fe. Some people questioned, "Of all places, why Santa Fe?" Well, why the heck not? Besides, who else goes there?
I fell in love with New Mexico. Santa Fe was so dreamy. The charming little city boasted art gallery after art gallery, delicious restaurants, and exquisite, high class shopping. I highly recomend a visit there to any of you art lovers. I found a fantastic painting... next time I have $28,000 lying around, I think that I'll buy it.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Today when I woke up to the pouring rain and thunder, I decided to forget my alarm clock, roll back into bed, and make the day mine. Lately I've been feeling super overwhelmed. Probably in more doses than ever before. It's ironic, because my life is disturbingly simple right now. I have already detached myself from most of the components that would normally produce stress. I decided to take this day to do a little unwinding and reconnecting: spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
I took a walk in the pouring rain while listening to Sia's song "Breathe Me." It proved to be just the fix I needed. It's the perfect rainy day song because it is so raw and packed with emotion. It made me feel validated in every way.
Monday, October 15, 2007
CONFESSION: I hate cats. Now that I've said it, I can't stop there. I HATE ANIMALS. So sue me. Turn me into the animal rights activists. Blame it on Scott L. and Alison C. Hymas. As a child I begged for a puppy but they told me that pets were gross, and smelly, and that they would buy me a swing set instead. Swings and monkey bars were much more fun than any pet would ever be.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Here are my top 5 dream jobs.
1. Fashion buyer/marketer
2. Host a show on the travel channel
3. Open my own bakery/restaurant
4. Singer in a band (actually I'd be willing to do anything...)
5. Own a bookstore
So.... what is your dream job??
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Post Script: Wow... this sort of sounds like a wannabee love letter. I promise we aren't lesbos. Just BFF.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Mission calls. I don't think I've ever felt more nervous in my entire life than when I ripped open the envelope sent from church headquarters that would change the course of my life forever. I was completely shocked to read "Cleveland Ohio Mission". Who goes to Cleveland anyway? Nevertheless, I am super excited. My uncle later informed me that the Browns play in Cleveland. I had to ask him which sport the Browns play, but I'm thinking that football might be a new love for me now. My friend Tiffany also reminded me that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum is located in Cleveland. Yeah baby. One more thing.. I failed to mention that I will also be serving a bit at the historic Kirtland sites. I'm thinking that maybe I'll do some negotiating while I'm there and get us back the temple.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Well if Shirley Polykoff can throw around expressions that change the course of history, than so can I. I've got one for you. Brunettes are more mysterious. I seriously believe this. Last week I traded in my platinum locks. I was tired of the maintanance that comes along with being blonde, and I was ready for a big change. And so I dyed my hair chocolate brown. Yes, you heard it, brown. I love it. I love being a brunette. Not only do people take me more seriously in the workplace, but there is also this aura of newfound mysteriousness about me. It's crazy. Another perk I've noticed is that nasty construction workers don't check me out as much anymore. If you blondes out there don't believe me, just make the change and you will know exactly what I mean.
Maybe blondes really do have more fun. Maybe. But as far as I can tell, all in all, being brunette isn't half bad.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Obvoiusly I've had a pretty lazy, blogless summer. Blame it simply on a lack of motivation.
Rest assured, my lackadaisical days are over now. That's right. I'm going to start blogging again. Jessica 'tagged' me, and so ladies and gentleman, for my second blogging debut, you get a survey describing yours truly. Oh goody....
5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1. listening to the Spice girls and Jewel
2. writing notes in my seventh grade classes to boys
3. eating 1,500 calorie lunches at CJH and staying skinny(Chick-filet sandwich+ giant cookie+ strawberry kiwi snapple= daily routine)
4. obsessing over the current heart throb for all 7th grade girls- Leonardo De Caprio
5. painting my room yellow and decorating it with Anne Geddes pictures (yuck...)
5 things on my to-do list today
1. go running
2. do my laundry
3. write in my journal
4. get a pedicure
5. make wheat bread
5 snacks I enjoy
1. caramel popcorn
3. chocolate cupcakes from Magnolia's bakery
4. fruit and yogurt smoothies
5. chips and salsa
5 songs I know the lyrics to
1. breathe- sia
2. 1234- Feist
3. Here- Hello Goodbye
4. Rebellion- Arcade Fire
5. Free Fallin- Tom Petty
5 things I would do if I was a millionaire
1. travel the world
2. live comfortably
3. give... start a non-profit saving children around the world
4. collect art
5. start my own fashion line
5 bad habits
1. leaving clothes on my floor
2. leaving my bathroom a mess everyday
3. not answering my phone
4. wasting time on the computer
5. being insensitive
5 things I'd never wear again
1. white eye liner (vomit)
2. Doc Marten Sandals
3. hemp (need I say more?)
4. overalls with one strap undone
5 favorite toys
4. my hammock