Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Do I look like this???

Here's a doosy...
The other day I was giving a bronze tour to a couple of non-members. Throughout the tour, this single man was hanging around, and then at the last statue he joined us and started joining in the conversation. The ladies began browsing through the exhibit, and he started asking me where I was from, etc. He was a bigger guy, in his early 50’s probably. I got kind of a weird vibe. There were senior couples in the same room as me though and so I wasn’t nervous. He said that he lived in Kentucky, and I asked him if he lived near Lexington, because my uncle was the stake president there. He chuckled and told me that he did, but that he was a Fundamentalist Mormon. I asked him what that meant, and he motioned for me to take a few steps away because “he didn’t want anyone to hear.” At this point I KNEW he was a creepo. He told me that they believe everything that we believe, only more. That they still live the law of consecration (literally), wear full-length garments, don’t allow blacks to have the priesthood, etc. He told me that he had started studying the journal of discourses, and that he suggested I do it to because I was missing out, and that the whole church had gone astray. I simply asked him one question. “Do you follow Thomas S. Monson as the prophet?” “No.” “Well, I know he’s a prophet and so I don’t agree with anything that you’ve just said.” I started to walk away, and he asked me if he could see my scriptures (which I was holding in my hand). I handed them to him, he opened to 2 Nephi 31 and gasped. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, “You’ve got all of the right places marked! When you get to the point that you are at, you’re ready for more.” READY FOR MORE? I was completely disgusted. I grabbed my scriptures from him, bore my testimony of the Prophet Thomas S. Monson, and walked away. He came up to me and whispered in my ear “Farewell”a few seconds later and walked away. I was raging. Later, we found that he had snuck inside after taking a tour because he didn’t want to be with a senior couple. He had actually told the elder that gave him a tour that he was in Ohio looking for another wife. WHAT A CREEPO. Obviously he had no idea who he was messing with. What a PERV. Now the joke around the sites has been, “Sister Hymas, you’re ready for MORE!”
Sidenote: I had actually worn my hair in a braid that day for probably the 3rd time on my whole mission. Also, now that I have bangs I couldn’t help but wonder if he thought I looked like a good candidate for polygamist farm wife.
Note to self: NEVER WEAR A BRAID AGAIN BECAUSE POLYGAMISTS THINK THEY ARE HOTTTTTT.

3 comments:

The Walkers said...

I don't know Andrea. I always thought you would make a lovely polygamist's wife.

Williamson's said...

HAHA!I miss your sense of humor, that is hillarious!

Brooke said...

Andrea!! I don't know how I came across this but I feel like I just struck gold!! I love you girl!