Not everyone can say they got to be in a parade on their mission

This past week was so fun. Kirtland is so different from normal proselyting. Being a missionary in the field is like being the salesman for a company and doing the gruntwork, and being a missionary at the visitors sites is like being in charge of public relations for the same company. Both jobs are difficult in their own ways; however, in Kirtland there is a little more 'wining and dining' if you will. For example, we get to help with a lot of community affairs and be the faces for the church here in Kirtland. This past week, Kirtland hosted their annual town 'Strawberry Festival'. It reminded me exactly of a small Americana town carnival, very similar to the one in 'Sweet Home Alabama.' Some of us got to help at it all night Thursday, and all afternoon and evening on Friday at the Strawberry tent. Here's a unique one for you- Friday evening Sister Tycksen and I got to dress up as CLOWNS, and we were in the Strawberry Festival Parade.
This was crazy Hahahaha. Yes, a CLOWN. Just in case you didn't realize, this is kind of a big deal. I was wearing a huge striped clown costume, a colored wig, a big red nose... the works. We handed out balloons to kids on the side of the road, and squirted people with these little toys the director had given us. It was so funny. We were laughing so hard, and of course loving it. As the parade started and we are walking down the road waving at people, suddenly I came to the
realization that we were CLOWNS in the parade, and that meant that people were expecting us to act completely stupid. Luckily I had so much stuff to give out, and the parade wasn't too long anyway, that I really didn't have the chance to have to think of something terribly idiodic to try to do to get laughs. It was so fun though.

So long Brunsie...

I am in Kirtland. I've decided the Lord never wants us comfortable, and he's definitely trying to teach me patience right now. I was excited for Kirtland because I was POSITIVE that I would get to do half proselyting/half sites. (8 sisters are half and half, and 7 of us are full sites) I was surprised when I learned that I would be a full-sites sister, which means I am on sites all day from 9-8.
My companion and I live in a house with 6 other sisters, and we are with sisters all the time on sites all day. Plus we are surrounded by senior couples that I LOVE. P.S. The sisters in my house are SO FUN. It's like a constant party. Part of me doesn't feel like a missionary anymore--- it's just so completely different from the field that I can't even compare the two. But I am starting to really love it.
Oh- guess what we do for service? We dress in pioneer clothes and go help out at the Lakeland Historical Society's Pioneer School----- I've been teaching 5th graders how to make taper-stick candles. It's actually really fun. I told one of the kids this morning that I am from Utah, and he acted shocked and said, "Are you serious?? You've got to be kidding me. You look like you are from California." Whatever that means. Kids are funny.

A taste of tracting

It's been an interesting week, complete as always, with a lot of tracting.
Today I thought that I'd give you all a little sampling of what tracting in
Brunswick entails. I will give you a few examples...

Scenario 1: "Hi we're missionaries from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints........... No, we AREN'T associated with the fundamentalist group in
Texas, but we DO share a message about how the gospel of Jesus Christ has been
restored to the earth."

Scenario 2: "Hello, we're sharing a message about Christ today...... No, we
DON'T share a husband, but we DO know that you can find more peace and love in
your own marriage by reading this book that we have, The Book of Mormon."

Scenario 3: "Hi, we're missionaries teaching people that the gospel of Jesus
Christ has been restored to the earth......No I don't know him personally, I'm
sorry that he dropped out of the race as well.... but here's hoping for 2012."

Scenario 4: "No. We aren't Jehova's Witnesses........I love Christmas too,
believe it or not, we COMPLETELY support blood transfusions, and you are sure
welcome to come to my birthday party this year."

Scenario 5: "Hi we're teaching people about another testament of Jesus Christ
that we have...... No, John Smith is definitely not the author of the Book of
Mormon. Pretty sure he was too busy with Pocahontas."

I hope that those scenarios gave you a small taste of what each and every day
bring for me. What a delight.

Guess what's behind door #2

The other day we were tracting on a nice little street. A woman came to her door, we told her what we were doing, she said "No thank you, I'm a born again Christian, but thanks anyway." I hand her a pass along card, and then as we are about to turn around and walk away we mention that her house smells amazing, because it did. She says, "Oh thanks! Well, come step in for a minute."
We walk through door #1 and we are standing in her mudroom. As she is about to open door #2 to get to the rest of her house she says, "I have a lot of cats, I hope you are okay with that." For a brief moment, I hesitate. I hate cats. But hello, I've dealt with many cats in the past few months and I'm sure a few more won't kill me anytime soon. And plus, she was letting us into her house... and that is gold.
As I kept walking, I almost fainted in disbelief. Nothing, no nothing, could have
prepared me for what lie behind door #2. EIGHTEEN furry feline friends. Yes,
EIGHTEEN CATS. No I am not even kidding. Keep in mind, this is in a one
story- two bedroom house. Sister Knecht and I looked at each other in pure
disbelief. I felt like I was in a zoo. 36 eyes stared at me, and 72 legs
started circling us in the middle of the room. UNREAL. Bless her heart, this woman's entire home is catered to her cats, all of which have biblical names. There are liter boxes all over, and cat furniture in every room. Literally, this place is cat heaven. The most incredible part about the whole thing is that it didn't stink at all. In fact, like I said before, it smelled incredible. Not only is she a cat lover, but she is also OCD about cleanliness. I wouldn't have even thought she owned a pet if I couldn't feel a few of these creatures trying to befriend me and rub up against my leg. We stood there in pure amazement for quite some time, and finally Sister Knecht asked if we could capture them all on camera. "SURE!" She was so excited, she whipped out a couple cans of Fancy Feast and in seconds all of the cats had come to play.

Strange things are afoot in Brunswick...

It happened last night. It was a dark and stormy evening, and we found ourselves on Clemson Rd. We had picked out a former investigator to visit, intent on tempting them with the prospect of eternal bliss. Mission failed, despite our irresistible charm. Shoot. We got back to the car and Sister Knecht took a phone call as I perused through the area book, deciding who our next victim would be. Just then, a police car pulled up, going uncharacteristically slow. He stopped and stared into our car, and then continued on his way. We quickly turned off the light and decided to get out of there. We weren't looking for trouble. The cop was hovering a little ways down the street in this nice, pleasant, middle class neighborhood. We continued driving a while and then realized that the cop was following us. I'm busy formulating escape plans (not that I have a good track record of escape plans actually working in the past when I've had interactions with cops) and Sister Knecht is freaking out ranting, "What the heck! I didn't do anything wrong! Why is he following us?" He didn't let up. Then, all of the sudden, sirens are blaring and we are being summoned to pull over. We are both freaking out at this point. In my head I'm thinking about all of the cop shows I've seen with shady policeman who have their own agendas. Maybe he saw two vulnerable looking girls and decided to have some fun? Or maybe he hates Mormons and is going to harass us? Start beating us? As you all know, my imagination can sometimes be quite overactive, and at that moment it definitely was. He comes up to the window and in the low, husky, impersonal voice that all cops seem to have, asks us what we think we are doing.
Officer 'I like to shine my bright light in your face like you are a criminal' Jones: "I saw you guys parked in front of that house on Clemson Rd, with the light on looking inside and talking on the phone."
Sister Knecht interjects, "What house?"
Officer 'I like to shine my bright light in your face like you are a criminal' Jones: "The house you were parked in front of. We have reason to believe that some suspicious activity is going on in that house. Can you explain yourselves?"
Sister Knecht: "Well, we had just visited 1156 Clemson, the house on the corner. We have nothing to do with that house."
All of the sudden Officer 'I like to continue shining my bright light in your face like you are a criminal Jones realizes that we are wearing name tags: "Oh, I see you are with the Church of Latter-day."
Sister Knecht: "Yes, we are."
Officer 'I'm finally going to turn off my bright light now' Jones: "Okay, well you ladies have a nice evening." Then he walked away.
I am absolutely positive that if we hadn't been wearing missionary badges, we would have been hand-cuffed and taken away.
Honest to goodness.

My first baptism

This past weekend I had the first baptism of my mission. It was awesome. It was really wonderful. I don't even know what else I can say to adequately describe it. The actual baptism part was quite funny... Rose Marie had to get dunked a couple times and she was crackin jokes the whole time. I loved it. She kept calling herself the pregnant angel in her baptismal dress. It was hilarious.
After her baptism she was just beaming. She was so happy, and you could just see it in her. She kept saying how it was better than she even thought it would be, and that she felt so clean... like a brand new baby. Later that night Sister Tingey and I stopped by her house and she ran over and hugged us both. She started bawling and said in between sobs, "You saved my life, and you didn't even know it.... I'm so glad you weren't Jehovah's Witnesses on my porch!!" I feel extremely lucky and blessed by the Lord to have had the opportunity to find and teach Rose Marie, and watch her be baptized in my first transfer as a missionary. It was a great way for me to start my mission, and a great way for Sister Tingey to end hers. Just being a part of that made all of the really cold, miserable days here in Brunswick so worth it.

Missions are crazy

Missions are crazy. Wait... maybe it's just me. MY mission is crazy. The other day Sister Tingey looked at me and said, "I've been serving for 18 months now and I've never had stuff like this happen to me until serving with you! " There you have it. I honestly believe that God keeps letting crazy things happen to me to keep me laughing everyday. I LOVE IT.
Here are a few of this week's highlights...

The night before Valentine's day and we were on our way to contact a referral. Sister Tingey missed the turn off and so she pulled into a parking lot to turn around. What she didn't realize was that the driveway slanted downhill. Mix that with the incredibly icy conditions of Brunswick Ohio in February and we've got ourselves a little problem.... The car is now completely stuck in ice. We are talking six inches of snow/ice that doesn't break when you walk on it... wonderful. It's also 19 degrees outside, and the wind is blowing. I get out of the car and we start trying to back it up, etc. We stand there hypothesizing whether we can back the car up 30 feet and over the curb, but realize that we will undoubtedly high center the car. Not a good idea. I get behind the car and start trying to push. Pathetic, I know. This does not work either. The tires are now spinning out of control and we've got smokeeverywhere. Sister Tingey is frustrated at this point, and I think the situation is completely hilarious. What makes the story even better is that we are in the parking lot of Christie's Cabaret and the "Simply Explicit Adult Boutique". We call Elder Hedilious, who is over all the cars in the mission. He laughs when we tell him what happened, and where we are. He tells us to find a shovel, and someone to help us. We try on our own for a few more minutes and both laugh as we realize what we have to do....... actually go inside to find a shovel. It was hilarious. We decide we will try the boutique rather than the strip club. Please picture two missionary girls in long skirts and puffy, hooded coats entering an adult boutique. It was insane. It was straight up disgusting, and I'm pretty sure we both looked like dear in the headlights. Yuck. Luckily, the woman at the desk had a shovel so we got out of there fast. There were however, last minute McCreepster Valentine shoppers who I'm sure got a kick out of two wide eyed sister missionaries entering the devil's playground. As we are walking out of the store I am laughing so hard I can barely contain myself and I start to lose my balance. I'm holding this huge metal shovel that weighs half as much as I do and my feet start slipping out of control. Next thing I know I've landed on my back, and thankfully the shovel had managed to miss my face as it landed. This only made me laugh harder, and I was stuck for about 5 minutes before I could actually get up.Finally we get back to the car, and we start shoveling. Okay, Sister Tingey is shoveling and I am still laughing. Just as she had shoveled us out and we were ready to Rock and Roll out of there, some guys show up out of nowhere and offer us assistance. Perfect timing. Out of control.

We were visiting a less active ward member the other day, and when we got ready to leave she told us to flip our car around in her yard. We do this every time that we visit her. Sister Tingey turned the car around, and we are halfway through the yard when the tires start spinning. OH NO. We look at each other and realize we have a problem. I jump out of the car, only to find that the front wheels of our car are sunk about a foot in wet mud. I start sinking in the mud and now we're in trouble. We try everything.... backing up the car, finding cardboard to put under the wheels to give it traction... nothing works, and by the time we are done trying Sister Tingey is CAKED in mud. It was so funny, and of course I'm laughing uncontrollably at this point and she is half laughing/ half ticked off. So... we knock on Sister Moorman's door to explain to her that we've basically ruined her front yard. Luckily, she doesn't care at all and claims this sort of thing has happened before. She calls her son to come and dig us out of the mud. He gets there twenty minutes later, takes one look at the car, and tells us to call Triple A to get a tow truck. TOW TRUCK??? You've got to be kidding me.... At this point I am dying. Sister Tingey is mumbling under her breath as she sponges off her coat and I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts. A little stop by, turned into a 4 hour ordeal, as it took the tow truck over an hour to get there, and an hour for them to drag our car out of the mud. Priceless. LOVE IT. By the time the car was on the driveway again, the yard looked like it had been bombed by a crater. Note to self: NEVER ATTEMPT TO TURN AROUND ON THE GRASS IN OHIO!

I learned that Urine is the new cure-all.... just like Windex. Urine. I'm not entirely sure how the subject even got brought up... I think that Rose Marie noticed a little patch of dry skin on my finger and she told me to use urine to heal it. WHAT???? The conversation got crazy... she truly believes that urine cures everything... she claims that she washes her face with it mixed with soap every morning and its kept her wrinkle-free. She claims its an old mining town secret, and that it truly works. I almost wet my pants when she was sincerely explaining her theory to me. My challenge for all of you: try it. Stop spending money on expensive face creams.